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Saturday, 10 January 2015 16:52

I Am Losing My Boyfriend to Work Stress

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Question:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years now.  Our relationship was the best ever because we can talk about anything – even the stuff we have different views on.  He loves to surprise me with little gifts and I always feel better after telling him when something bothers me. 

About three months ago things changed for him at work, and I can see he is really stressed out.  He does not talk to me about work, and he has gained weight.  We don’t have sex anymore because he does not feel comfortable being with me while he is so stressed.  He has also developed a temper and I can see that this bothers him as well.

He assures me he is still totally committed to me, but I feel I am losing him.  What can I do to help him?

 

Answer:

It feels to me like you man shows signs of depression.  The drastic changes in his behavior and the weight gain indicate that he is not coping.
I would suggest that you encourage him to get professional help.  This kind of depression is triggered by a change in circumstances, and even more by how we view those circumstances.  He obviously does not see any benefits from the situation at work, and got stuck in the downside of the job.

Once he understands what has changed at work and that there is in fact some benefit for him, the depression will lift.  Is the change due to a challenge that he feels he cannot cope with when in fact he is doing better than he thinks?

Has he outgrown the job and it is simply time for him to move on?  Is his stress due to being frustrated at where he is when he should in fact have left already?  Often the behavior of people at work indicates that we have overstayed our welcome and we cling to a job purely because we feel we are not ready for a change.  The behavior of our colleagues then indicate in a not so subtle way that we need to either go or be thrown out, so that we can face the next challenge – which is invariably an improvement on what we have.

Read 998 times Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 09:22
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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