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Saturday, 17 January 2015 16:29

I Am In Love With My Boss

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Question:

I am a medical doctor.  I report to another doctor who completed his studies a year before I completed mine.   While we were studying, he was allocated to be my mentor during his final year.  He criticized me a lot (and still does), but it helps me to improve and I didn’t mind. 

Since I have finished my studies I have been working with him on the same team in the hospital and we often put in long hours together.  He once said in a social conversation with colleagues that he has not found a female doctor who is his type, and that he would rather not date another doctor.   I know he is involved with an architect.

 

My problem is that I have feelings for him, and I find it more and more difficult to hide my feelings when I work with him.  How can I control my feelings when I am in his presence?

Answer:

First, how do you control your feelings?  You find the balance.  Let me explain.

It seems fairly clear that this guy is not interested in you as a woman, but he does notice you as a colleague.  It is quite OK to like him, but the way to find the balance so that you do not make a fool of yourself is to find a good trait for every bad trait that you see in him, and the other way round.  At the moment you seem to focus on his good traits and that results in you putting him on a pedestal. This is a sure way to invite being hurt by him.

Once you have a view of him that puts him neither on a pedestal nor in a pit, you will feel different about his criticism.  When your emotions no longer blind you to his bad traits, you will be in a better position to decide whether his criticism is valid.  Where he does have a point, you will not feel so vulnerable, and you will be able to take his advice.  However, where he is criticizing you because he is feeding his own ego, you will be able to give his criticism right back to him without feeling embarrassed.

To read more about dealing with relationship issues:

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Read 1280 times Last modified on Sunday, 25 January 2015 14:43
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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