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Sunday, 15 February 2015 15:10

How Do I Manage My Girlfriend's Stress?

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Question:

My girlfriend stresses all the time about her finances and her grades at university.  She is very intelligent – and this shows in the grades she gets.  She is also good with money and as a result financially secure with her income.

However, no matter what I do, she disagrees.  I have quoted her grades to her, and I have worked out her budget to prove her financial situation to her, but all she said was that I am trying to prove her stupid.

How do I get her to stop stressing over nothing?

 

Answer:

 

I could not help but smiling when I read your question because I recognized some of my clients in your description of your girlfriend.

Some people feel alive when they stress.  Even if they have all the proof that there is no reason to stress, they will find something to stress about.

The best way to deal with this is to not try and convince her that she has no reason to stress, but for you to stay calm about it.  If you do need to comment, simply say that you cannot see a reason for stressing, but you respect her choice to stress and you love her despite and because of that.

When she becomes aware that stressing is a choice she makes, and that you are not going to change that choice for her, over time she will start to make other choices.

Behind this stress is a deep need for security and acceptance, and nothing you say will change that. She will change over time and realize that she does this to herself.

At the moment she is getting acceptance, albeit negative acceptance, from your efforts to convince her that she has no reason for concern.  If you give her that acceptance by respecting her choice to stress, she will over time realize that there are different ways to get the same end result, and some of these ways are less painful than stressing yourself out.

To read more about dealing with relationship issues:

Click here if you are in the UK.

 

 Click here if you are outside the UK.

Read 1456 times Last modified on Sunday, 22 February 2015 15:34
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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