English
Sunday, 31 May 2015 11:11

How Do I Save My Daughter's Marriage?

Written by 
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Question:

I have a beautiful 26-year-old daughter who is an Ayuverda physician.  Two years ago we married her to a dentist in another city.  She had to move in with her husband’s family.  Her mother-in-law abused her emotionally because of religious issues, and because my daughter earns a living and enjoys her work.  My daughter never told me of any of her problems with her in-laws. 

Two months ago she decided to move back to my house.  I was shocked to see the state my child was in.  She told me she was never going to move back in with her husband or with his family. 

I have told my son-in-law that the only solution is for him and my daughter to move out and have their own place.  However, he does not want to do that, because his parents rely completely on his care.   He never speaks up for my daughter, because he does not want to offend his mother.   He is also not supportive of my daughter furthering her studies, because he has decided to start a family and wants her to give up her work.

Since my daughter has moved back in with me and my husband, she has been studying to complete her medical examinations.

I am so worried by this situation that I cannot think of anything else. 

My daughter understands that she could lose her husband and ruin her life, because it is highly unlikely to find a good match for a divorced woman.

I don’t want to live with the shame of seeing her divorced.  I know she will be happy and successful in her career, but what good is that when she does not have a partner? 

 

What could I possibly do to save my daughter’s marriage and her happiness? I blame myself for marrying her into such an uncaring family.

Answer:

You are struggling with the dilemma that every parent experiences sooner rather than later, namely when to let go of your child.

We know our children will in our hearts always be our children, and we will do anything to keep them away from hurtful things.  However, a wise parent lays a good and strong foundation, and then trusts a child to build on that foundation.

Your daughter is an adult, and she should make her own decisions.  You know already that she is able to make good decisions that are right for her, and you know how to support her in those decisions.

If she chooses to return to her husband, she will do so as a wiser, more mature woman, knowing what she is getting herself into and knowing what to expect.  If she chooses to not return to her husband, she will also know what impact it will have on you, and how her life will change as a result of such a decision.

You obviously love your daughter dearly and you want to see her happy.  But look back at your life, and you will realize that life sometimes requires us to go through painful experiences so that we can have the reward of happiness.  The same holds for your son-in-law.  He wants to be happily married and keep his parents happy.  He will also have to make some choices and you cannot make those choices on his behalf.  You can only have faith that everything will work out perfectly for your lovely daughter.

It is not easy to let go, but your daughter is an adult, and the best you can do is support her, whatever her decisions are.

No matter what happens, you will always know in your heart that you are a good mother and that you have done everything you could for your daughter.

Your daughter will make her own choices and sadly, so will he husband.  You cannot take responsibility for either of them.  If he loves her enough, he will find a different way to take care of his parents and live separately with his wife.If he does not love her enough to leave his parents, rather they separate now than they live a life of irritation and unhappiness.

I know it does not provide you with a solution, but trust me when I say that everything will work out perfectly.

Read 1074 times Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 09:09
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

K2Store Currency

£ R $

Latest Reviews

  • Anon - London
    I think this lady is remarkable. I gave her no information at all and she…
  • Jay - USA
    Feedback on relationships: Thank you so much for your advice, you are spot on to…
Go to top