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Saturday, 15 August 2015 13:09

I Need Help With My Mother's Aggression

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Question:

 

I love my mother but I feel she does not love me.  She has always expected me to agree with her and do as I get told, or else she would physically attack me. 

 

I now spend most of my time at boarding school where I have to work very hard to keep up.  I come home feeling exhausted and just want to relax and catch a breath.  However, everything ends up in a fight with my mother – and I mean a physical fight where I have to defend myself and watch out so that I don’t hurt her.

 

For example, today I accidentally stepped on her foot – I did not see her standing right behind me.  I apologized, but she started screaming at me and grabbed my hair, and then started hitting me.  I first started screaming as well, but I then started laughing to try and defuse the situation and also to restrain myself.

 

I have noticed that whenever I go home for a weekend, my hands start to shake.  How can I deal with my mother without fighting and hating her?

 

 

Answer:

You are so right - hating your mother is not a solution.  I once read somewhere that hating someone is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die.  Hate does a lot more damage to you than to the person who is the object of your hate.


Your mother is showing you with her behaviour how NOT to express your emotions.  Violence of any kind, whether it is verbal or physical, is not good for anyone involved.

It sounds like your mother requires help dealing with her own behaviour and you cannot give her that help.  I would recommend that you talk to your General Practitioner and ask what resources are available for you and for her.

Apart from that, here is what you can do about your own stress:

Find a quiet place a few times a day where you can sit on your own and focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply in and out a few times.  When you are so stressed, you forget to breathe deeply enough, and as a result you do not get enough oxygen in your body. This makes you even tenser.

While you are in this quiet place, focus on a point on the opposite wall - anything - and keep looking at that point until you feel your eyes will cross.  Keep looking at that point until you feel you can no longer see anything specific, and then still keep looking at that point.  You would be surprised to feel how the stress and tension flows from your body.  This will help you at school as well.

Read 1020 times Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 09:18
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

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