Firstly I promise I will not say ‘talk to them’ because that is clearly not a solution.
The solution I want to offer you is unconventional and will require some discipline from you but I have used it myself in similar situations and also with clients.
First some background: even if you don't believe what I am writing here, assume it is true for the moment. Let's say you come into this world having a contract with all the significant people in your life - which would include your mother and grandmother. This contract is meant to help you learn about yourself and become whole.
What is the nature of the contract? Normally you first have to live through the
experience, and then you look back and discover the wisdom that you were meant to learn from these people who act as your teachers. Of course you can get psychic or spiritual advice on the nature of your contract with your mother and grandmother, but this is not the place for it - I am giving you the tool to get to the wisdom yourself.
Once you understand what the wisdom is and you get as far as thanking your teachers with true gratitude, the teachers back off and you can get on with your life. This is why I know that it will make no difference for you to talk to them.
They will not back off just from talking. What you need to do is get to the bottom of this, because that will make them back off even if you say nothing to them.
How do you do this? Here are the instructions. It is important that you follow the instructions to the letter, because that is what makes the magic happen in your brain and between you and your mother and grandmother.
Take an A4 sheet of paper and divide it into two columns.
Write this heading on the left hand column: I love the attention I get from my mother and grandmother.
Write this heading on the right hand column: I dislike the attention I get from my mother and grandmother.
Then divide each one of those columns in two again and give each column the heading Advantage and Disadvantage.
You will have a left hand column with a main heading of I love the attention I get from my mother and grandmother, and the sub-headings of Advantages and Disadvantages, and a similar right hand column with the opposite statement.
Now this is where the discipline and the magic starts. It does not matter which column you start writing in first, you HAVE to first complete the entire line before you can write a second line.
For example: It would be easy to first think of a disadvantage of the attention you get, namely that it takes up a lot of your time. Now what is the advantage of this attention from them? You feel wanted.
Now move to the other column. Assume that you dislike the attention of your mother and grandmother. What is the advantage? You know you will never act like them because you know better. And the disadvantage of disliking their attention? It eats you up inside because you want to love them.
Now you are ready to start on the second line and do the same.
Carry this sheet of paper with you and complete a full line (all four columns) every time you become aware of the next thing that you feel or observe because of their behaviour.
I know this sounds cumbersome and hard work, but every time you complete a line, you get closer to a point where you will experience no emotion when they act the way they do, and they will not succeed in upsetting you in any way. When you get to that point, you will be able to be firm with them without feeling guilt or
any other destructive emotion.
As you progress with this, you will also notice a change in their behaviour without having to discuss anything with them. They will feel the difference in you, and on an unconscious level they will know that they have fulfilled their contract with you, and they will back off.
If you do not follow this approach and rather move away from them again, you may end up with a neighbor that will treat you in the same way, and that will be an even bigger nightmare. The sooner you get to the bottom of this and get into a position where you can actually thank them for being your teachers, the sooner you can get on with your life and be in control of the situation.