I am 19 and have gone through a number of changes recently. Within a year I graduated from high school, got my first home and got married.
A few months ago my husband’s best friend moved in with us – only for a few weeks, but then the weeks turned into months. Initially it worked out fine, but now things are getting totally out of hand.
We have a big TV in our house. Recently this man decided to buy a projector, put it in the middle of the lounge floor, and put up a white sheet in the middle of my house. He did not ask for permission, and when I asked him to take the stuff out of the way, he just ignored me.
He also bought an additional TV so that he and my husband could play games together, each using their own TV. I just got ignored in all of this, as if I don’t exist.
My husband works day shifts and his friend works nights. This friend decides when the air conditioning should be switched on during the day, and he takes control of the TV all day because he does not like my choice of shows.
Before this man moved in with us, we coped financially, but now we often overspend because just the food he eats cost more than the minimal rent he pays.
Our bills for internet use, phone and electricity have gone up. He claims that he cannot pay more rent, but he spends cash on computer games, brand-new state-of-the-art TV sets and other gadgets that are taking over my house.
I like to keep things neat and tidy, but it is impossible with this man making a mess all day and never cleaning up after himself.
My husband and I have started to argue about things that we in the past had no problems with.
Is it wrong to feel the way I do?
Firstly, you are not being childish. You are the most mature person in that house.
A person who pays minimal rent per month for a roof over his head and acts like that is a parasite. There is only one way to get rid of him and that is to throw him out. Guess what? He will survive. He will find someone else to live off and blame you for the life he is creating for himself.
I understand that your husband regards him as a friend, but a real friend would have been considerate enough to keep his
word and only stayed for as long as he needed to find his own place.
Why would he bother to move unless he is thrown out? He is quite comfortable where he is and has no consideration for your marriage or your privacy.
You will have to explain to your husband that this man is destroying the good marriage that you have, and that if your husband does not make the decision to throw this man out, you will either throw the friend out yourself or move out.
And with a person as strong-willed, manipulative and inconsiderate as this, I would not even bother to give him adequate notice if I were you, because he will simply stay and ignore your notice. Put him out in the street and change the locks if you have to - that will be your last big expense on his behalf.