You know exactly what you did - you broke out and you chose to ignore the rules that your family live by. In your mind what you did was right. In their minds what you did was betray them.
How do you deal with it? You will probably shake your head at this, but I want you to listen carefully - because I talk from experience. Love them, no matter what they say or do. Just love them.
Your family have made the chains around them, and they blame you for showing them how weak those chains in fact are. Eventually they will all understand that you are entitled to live your own life, just as much as they are entitled to dictate all those rules that you broke. It is sad that they want to keep you away from your father's funeral, but you can afford to be the greater spirit and just love them, no matter what they do.
See yourself as a trail blazer, the one who walks ahead, and they follow. It may not feel at the moment like they are following, but don't worry about that. You will look back at this whole situation and realize that it is not easy for people to accept change. Where people become so hostile, they look for arguments about the silliest things. It is very difficult to argue with someone who loves you for who you are, no matter how miserable and hostile you are. That is how your Love will get through to them.