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Monday, 30 December 2013 07:38

How Do I Deal With Wedding Stress?

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How Do I Deal With Wedding Stress? How Do I Deal With Wedding Stress? Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Question:

I'm getting married next year to the love of my life. However, due to the wedding and family interfering I've been stressed out lately. I've been on edge and so has my fiancé and we've snapped at each other. What can you recommend that I can do to help me deal with the situation?

Answer:

There are two issues here.

The first is that you probably want to have a perfect wedding day.  That is not possible.  With every single wedding day there is at least one thing that makes it imperfect.  Every person has their own idea of a perfect wedding day.  You have yours, your mother has a vision of what she plans for you as her daughter, and your future mother-in-law knows what is good enough for her son.The wedding is being planned for next year.  Your wedding day is your day more than anyone else's.  I would suggest that you make a list of what you want.  Start off with what you ideally would want and go into as much detail as you can.Then go through the list again, and decide what is not negotiable for you.  Decide what you would like to see but can get by without.  And then decide what is not acceptable at all.Then meet with those relatives who must have a say in your wedding.  Tell them what is not negotiable for you.  Tell them what they can have a say in, let them decide who wants to do what, and make sure that you have the last word on everything.  Remind them that your wedding day is your day.  Tell them that you respect their opinions, and that you value their inputs, but this is your day and you would appreciate it if they respect it that way.

The second is that various issues are coming to the surface.  A wedding day is the culmination of a relationship that grows over a period of time.  Every issue that results in you and your fiancé snapping at each other is an issue that you need to resolve between the two of you now, to the satisfaction of both of you.  The purpose of these differences is for the two of you to get to know each other better, to set boundaries and to negotiate your future.If you and your fiancé cannot resolve these issues between the two of you as they occur, then maybe you are not ready to get married.  A marriage is not about the wedding with all the pomp and frills.  A marriage is about a fulfilling relationship that is celebrated by two people in the presence of loved ones.It is possible to have a happy and stress-free wedding with no frills, and it is possible to have the same wedding with all the traditions and ceremonies.  Either way, remember that the run-up to the wedding is a sample of the life that you and your fiancé will live after all the guests have gone home.

Every incident that you now have to deal with is an example of what you can expect when you get married.  Every argument is an opportunity for you to get to know more about yourself and your fiancé.  You can argue, or you can become aware of the opportunity and give a step back and ask yourself what the real issue is.  Then you can focus on the real issue, and resolve it in a way that will provide a solid foundation for your married life.  Blessings to you

 

To read more about dealing with relationship issues:

Click here if you are in the UK.

Click here if you are outside the UK.

 

 

Read 1713 times Last modified on Saturday, 17 January 2015 17:24
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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