I am twenty years old and I suspect I am stressed out. I have chest pains and feel anxious and easily irritated a lot of the time. I have many headaches and digestive problems and have been gaining weight recently. I am always tired but struggle to get to sleep. I also have a rash on my neck and face.
I have been caring for both my ailing grandparents since I started high school. As a result I had no activities outside of school, and virtually no social life. I started college, but had to drop out because my grandparents now require round-the-clock assistance. I only get out of the house when they have doctor’s appointments. Their last appointments were 35 days ago.
I cannot count on my mother to help me, because she is spending all her time and energy on getting my three younger siblings back – they were kidnapped by my father and his ex-convict new wife.
I feel that I am struggling more and more to cope, and I am worried that I will die before my life has really started. I often pray to God to help me, even if it is just to help me relax so that I can get a good night’s sleep, but it feels like things are getting worse rather than better.
What can I do to make my life better?
When things get really stressful, it is time to first look after yourself.
Over the last four weeks I have had some major things to deal with. My god-daughter was born and had to go straight into NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit). Then my sister’s baby was born and also had to go straight into NICU. I got a severe allergic reaction – I still don’t know the cause. Just after that I discovered that my mom has got skin cancer. And yesterday I had another severe allergic reaction and now I need to have tests done.
I have never coped well with stress, and this is just too much for me. As a result my home looks like a disaster area. My grocery shopping is behind. I have missed days at work, and I really care about my job. I have not exercised in weeks – and I love my exercise. I have started to snap at people for the simplest reasons.
What can I do to reduce my stress, or just to relax?
Don't stress about what has not happened yet because if you do, you create your nightmare.
There is a potential lawsuit against me.
While I am waiting for the decision, I am unable to sleep and eat properly, and I just want to stay in bed most of the time.
What can I do to feel better?
My mother won’t let go of me and it is driving me crazy.
I am 21 years old and was not even allowed to arrange a birthday party for myself – not that it would have been a big party, because I only have one friend. My younger brother has already left home to study, but my mother refused me that opportunity. Instead she expects me to stay home and do all the cooking and cleaning. My mom seems to be afraid of so many things and wants me to take care of her all the time.
I recently got a job, and my mother makes a scene every time I leave for work, but I refuse to give up the job. At the same time she expects me to use my money to pay the household bills, even though she has her own well-paid job.
I have decided to leave home and move into a small flat. I don’t know how to tell my mother this without having a confrontation, because I don’t know how she will treat my younger sister when I leave home. I love my mother, but Iwant to have my own life and make my own rules. I want to go out with friends and study and travel.
How do I get away from all this?
I am a young mother of a baby under two years. I have a full-time job as well.
At home I have to prepare supper, and breakfast and lunch every evening for the next day. I also have to prepare my baby’s food. I have all the washing and cleaning to do as well.
At work I am overloaded because a colleague went on medical leave and I have to do her job as well as my own.
My husband expects a clean house but does not help me, even with the baby. I have talked to him about giving up my job, but he does not want me to. He just says I am not the first woman who is going through this phase and I must cope.
In the past few weeks I have had the most unbearable backache, and I am falling behind with everything. What can I do to get back on top of things again?