I am the only financially independent person in my family. When I was younger I had a learning disability but I have outgrown it. I grew up with people telling me I am slow, not smart enough and good for nothing. Today I am studying for a degree in psychology. I have my own home, a car, and I take care of my little son.
I work three days a week. I have no choice other than to use my brother for child care, because I don’t earn enough to be able to afford child care. My brother has been in and out of prison for years. My son is a little slow on remembering colors and numbers. My brother keeps telling me that I should give up work to take care of my son, but he has never bothered to take care of his own children. My son asked me the other day why he is stupid. He never heard that from me, and it could only have come from my brother.
I once published some poetry with money I saved, and all my family could do was to criticize me. They also have a lot to say about my weight (I am very slender by nature) and the way I speak. Whenever I do something positive, they tell me it won’t last.
When I get income tax money back, I help them but they ignore that and never have anything good to say about me. They all have a history of prison and drugs and neglecting their children. I have never done any of that. I hate these people and don’t know how I can get away from my family. What can I do to escape them?
My relationship has been going nowhere for the past few months.
My partner and I have been going through rough times for various reasons, but we are not really talking to each other.
Should I stay or go?
I would like to get married one day and be happy. I am not in a relationship at the moment.
I have recently noticed many people around me who are all having affairs. I am concerned that when I ever get married, my wife or I will have an affair, and that will break my heart.
I expect my wife to be faithful to me, and I will definitely be faithful to her. Am I unreasonable?
I met this incredible girl when I was in college, and I really care deeply about her. It is a second relationship for both of us. Her first relationship was long-distance. He started cheating on her after a few months, and she had no idea about it. She even went to visit him and as far as she was concerned they were very happy. He then dumped her just after her birthday.
I knew her at the time but our relationship only started a while after hers ended. We were very happy initially, but then I finished my studies. Because of finances I had to move back home, and this means I am only able to visit her every two months. I am now saving money so that we can move in together soon. We do communicate regularly with IM, video and phone, but it is not the same. I feel I am losing out because I cannot see her face or hear her voice, and that causes misunderstandings that turn out to be quite hurtful for both of us.
She still has her studies and she works two jobs to earn some money. She comes home late at night when her family is already asleep, and she has nobody to talk to.
I am very concerned that she is more and more depressed, and on top of that she is turning into a nasty piece of work - even her friends complain about her behavior.
I really want to help and support her as much as I can, but I feel like I am walking on eggs every time I speak to her. In this way her stress is getting to me. She is now playing this game where she is blaming me for not knowing what is wrong with her, and also not telling me anything – she shuts me out and I feel she is destroying all the closeness we had.
I am a medical doctor. I report to another doctor who completed his studies a year before I completed mine. While we were studying, he was allocated to be my mentor during his final year. He criticized me a lot (and still does), but it helps me to improve and I didn’t mind.
Since I have finished my studies I have been working with him on the same team in the hospital and we often put in long hours together. He once said in a social conversation with colleagues that he has not found a female doctor who is his type, and that he would rather not date another doctor. I know he is involved with an architect.
My problem is that I have feelings for him, and I find it more and more difficult to hide my feelings when I work with him. How can I control my feelings when I am in his presence?
You are ready for a relationship when you are ready to face the fantasy as well as the nightmare. Any relationship teaches us wisdom about ourselves.
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