Hating another person is not a solution to anything. Finding a more practical means of resolving a problem is much more useful.
Bullies focus on people who do not acknowledge their own value.
My husband and I have a young daughter that I have been home-schooling for the past two years, with no success because she hates it.
She has been in about twenty schools already, and each time I took her out of the school because she was being abused and bullied. She sings beautifully but has never had a chance to prove herself, and I cannot send her to dance classes because of the expense.
My husband works long hours just to keep us all going and we cannot afford a tutor. I have no transport and spend most of my time at home with my daughter. Often my husband just comes home to change clothes before he goes out again, and we hardly ever talk. When he does have time to talk to me, he just tells me what I do wrong.
I am very concerned that I am becoming more and more miserable and that I am letting my daughter down. How can I change the situation?
I love my mother but I feel she does not love me. She has always expected me to agree with her and do as I get told, or else she would physically attack me.
I now spend most of my time at boarding school where I have to work very hard to keep up. I come home feeling exhausted and just want to relax and catch a breath. However, everything ends up in a fight with my mother – and I mean a physical fight where I have to defend myself and watch out so that I don’t hurt her.
For example, today I accidentally stepped on her foot – I did not see her standing right behind me. I apologized, but she started screaming at me and grabbed my hair, and then started hitting me. I first started screaming as well, but I then started laughing to try and defuse the situation and also to restrain myself.
I have noticed that whenever I go home for a weekend, my hands start to shake. How can I deal with my mother without fighting and hating her?
If you care about yourself other people will also care about you.
I have been diagnosed with social phobia and anxiety by a psychologist who was not able to help me overcome these issues. However, I have decided not to let that put me off.
There was an incident at work with a female colleague who had bullied me for quite a while. One day she just went too far and I threatened to beat her up. Of course I will never lift my hand to a woman, and did not mean it. Unfortunately the woman is related to the manager, who took her side and I lost my job.
I have since had chance meetings with some ex-colleagues who looked at me in a funny way, as if they want to laugh at me but not to my face. At first I thought it was my imagination, but then it happened again and again. This made me believe that they are gossiping about me whenever they can.
I am wondering whether it is possible for gossip to destroy a person’s life. Do you think I should be concerned about what these people say about me behind my back? I know that I live in a large city and I no longer work for this company, but it still bothers me that these people are talking about me and I don’t have an opportunity to defend myself.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years now. Our relationship was the best ever because we can talk about anything – even the stuff we have different views on. He loves to surprise me with little gifts and I always feel better after telling him when something bothers me.
About three months ago things changed for him at work, and I can see he is really stressed out. He does not talk to me about work, and he has gained weight. We don’t have sex anymore because he does not feel comfortable being with me while he is so stressed. He has also developed a temper and I can see that this bothers him as well.
He assures me he is still totally committed to me, but I feel I am losing him. What can I do to help him?
Step 1: Breathe deeply and relax. Count your blessings.
Step 2: Do not take it personally, but take it very personally.
Step 3: Celebrate the next cycle of your life
I can hear you saying "There are bills to be paid. There is an ego that needs massaging. How will I cope until I can find another job during a time of recession? And she says I should relax and celebrate?"
Yes, I am serious about my advice, which comes from first-hand experience.