English
Saturday, 27 June 2015 13:50

Can Gossip Destroy Your Life?

Written by 
Rate this item
(0 votes)

 

Question:

I have been diagnosed with social phobia and anxiety by a psychologist who was not able to help me overcome these issues.  However, I have decided not to let that put me off. 

There was an incident at work with a female colleague who had bullied me for quite a while.  One day she just went too far and I threatened to beat her up.  Of course I will never lift my hand to a woman, and did not mean it.  Unfortunately the woman is related to the manager, who took her side and I lost my job. 

I have since had chance meetings with some ex-colleagues who looked at me in a funny way, as if they want to laugh at me but not to my face.  At first I thought it was my imagination, but then it happened again and again.  This made me believe that they are gossiping about me whenever they can.

 

I am wondering whether it is possible for gossip to destroy a person’s life.  Do you think I should be concerned about what these people say about me behind my back?  I know that I live in a large city and I no longer work for this company, but it still bothers me that these people are talking about me and I don’t have an opportunity to defend myself.

Answer:

I suspect you already know the answer to your question.  Yes, gossip can destroy your life, but only if you allow it to do so. We often hold on to incidents long after we should have let go.  

Do you lie awake at night about what happened to you months ago?  If you do, do you think those people lie awake about you?  I can assure you they have probably forgotten about you already, and they will only remember if you keep reminding them.

It is time for you to let go of these people.  

You have learnt from them that it is not nice to be bullied, and that it is important for you not to bully people.  You have also learnt that gossip hurts people.  Therefore you should not gossip about people.

You have also learnt that even if you did not mean it, it is not right to threaten a person, whether it is a man or a woman. People may want to remind you of what happened in this company.  When they do, you can feel really hurt and that those people are trying to destroy you.

Alternatively you can say to those people:  "Look, I have learnt that it is wrong to bully people, that gossip hurts people and that it is wrong to threaten another person.  Because of the incident I am now a better person.  What have you learned out of all this?"

When you say that to people, they will look at you with respect and they will still talk about you, but they will do it with respect because you have learned and you take responsibility for yourself.

Read 1111 times Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 09:19
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

Latest Reviews

  • Tricia Woolfrey - Uk
    After two major bereavements in close succession I felt I was functioning on one level…
  • Stacey - USA
    Feedback on relationships: That makes a lot of sense. I'm going to sit down and…
Go to top