Sunday, 29 November 2015 12:02

More Stress Than I Can Manage

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Over the last four weeks I have had some major things to deal with.  My god-daughter was born and had to go straight into NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit).  Then my sister’s baby was born and also had to go straight into NICU. I got a severe allergic reaction – I still don’t know the cause.  Just after that I discovered that my mom has got skin cancer.  And yesterday I had another severe allergic reaction and now I need to have tests done.


I have never coped well with stress, and this is just too much for me.   As a result my home looks like a disaster area.  My grocery shopping is behind.  I have missed days at work, and I really care about my job.  I have not exercised in weeks – and I love my exercise.  I have started to snap at people for the simplest reasons.


What can I do to reduce my stress, or just to relax?




Your allergic reactions indicate to me that you feel powerless with all these events going on around you.

You are a caring person and right now you do not know where to start caring for whom because there are too many demands on you.


The advice I want to give you comes from experience and personal hindsight.


Start caring for number 1 - you.  If you struggle to cope, you cannot help other people to cope.  In terms of your environment, do what will keep you out of trouble today and leave the rest until you feel in control again.  For example, take 5 minutes to do some tidying up in you apartment, and accept that you can always do the rest later, when you feel in control again.  Go and buy the groceries that you will need for the next week, so that you will not go hungry.  The rest can wait.


And no matter what demands there are on your time, push them aside and go and exercise like you have done before.  You know that makes you feel good about yourself.  That will also give you the energy to go to work when things feel like they become too much for you.


When you put these simple measures in place, you will feel a bit more in control.
And this may sound barmy, but try it:  take just 5 minutes each morning and each afternoon to sit somewhere (at your desk, in a park, on the toilet - wherever you are) and focus on breathing.  I will first explain how and then why.


You breathe in for 10 counts, hold your breath for 3 counts and then breathe out for 12 counts. Keep doing that for about 5 minutes at a time, and then get on with what you were busy with again.


Why would you do that?  Because when you get this stressed, you forget to breathe.  As a result your body gets deprived of oxygen.  Your stress tolerance decreases, and your muscles get so tense that you don't relax even when you sleep.


This breathing will relax not only your body, but also your mind.  You will know when you start snapping at people that it is time to go and do some breathing.


When you are at home, no matter how frantic you feel, put on some calming background music. You don't need to slow down or sit and listen to the music. Just let the music be in the background.  That will also help you relax.


When you are in a more relaxed state, you are in a better place to support the mothers of the babies and your mother, and your body will cope better with the allergies that you have discovered.


If you look back over the past two or three years, you will probably realize that something has been building up for all this time.  The events of the past few weeks have brought you to a standstill and you have to re-assess a few priorities in your life.  But this kind of thing only happens to a person who can cope with it, and you can.

Read 1661 times Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 09:16
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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