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Saturday, 02 July 2016 13:04

I Am Not Bunking School

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Question:

 

I am in senior school.  About a year ago I became very ill and started vomiting.  It was really bad at the time, and I had to see a number of doctors before it got better.

 

I still have to take medicine daily, and I still vomit three or four times a week for no reason.  This is much better than it was, but I am still far from well.  I feel nauseous and tired most of the time.

 

Because of this, last year I missed most of the school year.  This year is a bit better, but it is really difficult to concentrate at school when I feel like vomiting.  I have arranged with friends to help me stay on top of my schoolwork, and so far I am coping.

 

However, my parents don’t understand.  Whenever I feel I am unable to cope with going to school and that I should rather stay at home, we have an argument.  They want me to go to school every day, even when I feel I won’t be able to cope.  This is additional stress which none of us need.

 

I know I need to finish school and I am doing everything I can to do that, but my parents don’t see my side.

 

How can I explain to them that when I get up and feel too ill to go to school even if I want to, I am not bunking? 

 

 

 

Answer:

I can just imagine your frustration with getting through to your parents and dealing with your health issues as well.

It is not easy for parents to let go of their children and stop laying down the law.  You are expecting your parents to do that earlier than normal in the sense that technically you are still a child and they want to still be prescribing parents, while in fact your dis-ease has caused you to take on responsibility for yourself much earlier than you normally would have.

It feels like in your situation you will need to take even more responsibility by helping your parents to cope with the situation.  How can you do that?

You will have to set specific and tangible goals for yourself in terms of school - not so much how often you can attend, but rather what outcome you want to see in terms of achievements or academic results.  And these results do not have to be top of the class - you know what you are capable of.  Then you need to sit your parents down and explain to them what you want to achieve at school.  This will give them peace of mind that you are not just shying away from school, but rather than you want to achieve what they want for you despite the odds.

I would suspect that they feel much anxiety about not wanting you to miss school, and if you can share your goals with them, they will feel less anxious and out of control, and more willing to trust and support you.  Of course once you have set your goals, you will have to make a real effort to achieve those goals despite your dis-ease.

When they understand that you are serious about school and that you also want to manage the situation as best you can, they may be much more supportive on your "off" days so that you can feel stronger and achieve more with their support on your "on" days.

There is also something else you can do for yourself.

You need to get to the bottom of what set off this vomiting in the first place.  You say it came out of the blue, but I always look at a deeper level to see what happened before the symptoms started.  And no, I am not recommending that you go for expensive therapy and contemplate your navel or wreck your brains trying to remember what happened at the time.

I want to recommend a far more powerful and inexpensive method of getting to the bottom of this, namely writing a journal.  

This will take courage and discipline, but I would not be surprised of you scratch open the real cause - the real stuff that you ‘cannot stomach’ - and also a way to deal with it all.

Read 647 times Last modified on Tuesday, 07 February 2017 09:11
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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