Sunday, 25 September 2016 16:59

How Do I Recover From Religion?

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I grew up in an extremely conservative Fundamentalist Christian church.  We were not allowed any dancing, smoking, TV, radio, or associating with outsiders, and women were not allowed to wear trousers.

When I was a little girl I was sexually abused by a man in his 60s.  I told my parents, but they insisted that it was a bad dream.  My mother told me that God and prayer would heal me.  As a result I never received therapy.

I spent years avoiding all men and grew up with a total aversion to sex. 

I am now nearly 30 and feel lost and detached from my life.  I have tried counselling and Christianity but it made no difference.  God does not seem to be helping and counselling is very slow and expensive.

I am now in my first relationship and I am going to lose this man because I am disgusted by all forms of affection – even kissing. 

I would like to heal my broken spirit and be happy in a relationship.  How do I do that?


I understand your situation - and the damage that can be done by trying to escape reality with prayer rather than dealing with the reality.  I have also practiced as a psychologist and left that behind because I don't feel that therapy (i.e. figuring out which theory suits the client the best and then subtly hammering them into changing to fit the theory) works.

There are two pieces of advice that I can give you because I know they work and they both are based on the fact that you are unique and that you are in control of your life even when you feel lost.  Of course these worked for me and they work for more clients than I can count, but you have to bring your own flavor to it - and you can do that.

Here is the first piece - and you may have to play along until you understand this fully.  Ask yourself how the sexual abuse has made you the person you are today.  And please don't only focus on the negative, because the Universe is in complete balance, and for every negative there is an equal and opposite positive.

For example - and this is just an example because you can provide your own experience: Your mother insisted that God would resolve your trauma (negative), but you realized that God never left or punished you (positive), and there must be another reason why the trauma happened.  Compare yourself to your friends.  How many of them take happiness in arelationship for granted while you have grown past that and you see a different, more balanced picture?  How many of them believe in the fairy-tale of ‘happy ever after’ while you understand that every person plays a significant role (good or bad) in our lives?

What if your boyfriend is an angel in disguise whose role is to help you understand that you are a lovely person, and you are not the trauma that happened to you?  What if he is the one whose role in your life is to help you finally get that insight that will make you feel rich and grateful (whether the relationship with him lasts or not?

All of this happened to you for a reason.  The art lies in discovering the reason, not in ‘re-programming your brain’ as in NLP or in ‘putting the experience behind you and moving on’ or in praying to have it magically resolved.  When you discover this reason for the experience, you grow in wisdom and become whole, and you experience true gratitude and Love.

You may say that this is easy for me to say, but how do you do it in practice?

That is where the second bit of advice comes in.  Have a look at an article on how to write a journal and follow the instructions to the letter.

The first few days of following this process may be a bit rough, but you will only look back in gratitude and it will cost you a dollar for real results rather than an arm and a leg for endless therapy.

Read 1604 times Last modified on Saturday, 24 September 2016 17:08
Elsabe Smit

Elsabe Smit is a well-known author, clairvoyant, and public speaker.

Elsabe helps people to understand the mysteries of life and Love, so that they can regain control of their lives. What would you like to resolve?

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