Assume that we do believe in eternal life. That means when a person dies, they leave their body behind and continue to live in a different form – a form that some of us recognize as the person's ethereal body. This happens because we are energy, and energy cannot be destroyed.
If the person continues to exist, but only in a different form, why do we get so sad about somebody dying? What exactly is it that we lose?
Death reminds us of our own mortality, and when we have unfinished business here, we feel pressure to get on with our own business. If we do not understand that we have all the time that is required to fulfill our purpose here, we will be sad.
Death also means that we will experience our relationship with the deceased person in a different way. We will no longer be able to talk to the person (or ignore the person if that is what we did when they were still alive). Thoughts of that person will fill our minds. Sometimes we will have loving conversations with the person, and at other times we will have nightmares about the person.
People come to this earth and inhabit their bodies because they have a purpose. They have specific lessons to learn, and to teach to others. All of us are here to learn and to teach.
When we no longer have anything to learn, the time comes when we leave our bodies behind. We can still continue to teach others even after we had left our bodies. We do that by means of those conversations in our minds.
Once a person has left their body behind, they are in a state of Love, regardless of the nature of the earthly lives they had lived. That is why we have such loving experiences with our deceased loved ones.
But what if we have these nightmares and fears that continue after the person has passed on? If we do not understand this change, namely that the deceased person is in a state of Love, we continue to hold on to our own fears until we are able to resolve them.
Grieving is also about loss. We believe that once a person has passed on, we have lost everything we had with that person. We believe that we have lost a loving look, memories of good times together, and all the other things we wanted to hold on to.
This might sound strange, but death is not about loss, because we never lose anything. The Universe is in complete balance. We keep everything forever, and we need to find those things elsewhere. For example, after many years of marriage you lose the companionship of a loving partner. At the same time a friend supports you and a rich friendship takes the place of that companionship. Or you become more spiritually aware and continue the relationship with your partner, but in a spiritual way.
If death is not about loss, what is it about? Death is about re-assessing what we have, and about finding the balance again in a perfect Universe. The balance is there. When a person departs, we temporarily forget about the balance. We cry because we experience a sense of loss. Over time we regain our balance and we understand that we have lost nothing.
This applies to all losses and all grieving. Do you grieve about the loss of a friend? Did you as a result of the loss of the friendship gain new friends, which restored the balance? Do you grieve about the loss of a child? Have you, as a result of that, found other people to care for, maybe people who also lost children?
But some of you say no, this is not true for me. I have felt the pain of that loss and it will remain with me forever. That is your choice. If you want to spend the rest of your life here cherishing the loss, you can do that. If you want to find out how the balance in your life has been restored, it will become clear to you very quickly.
When you are able and willing to understand what it is that you have lost and gained, you can move on and find that inner peace. When you choose to define yourself for the rest of your life in terms of your loss, the rest of your life will be off balance. The world will move on regardless of how you define yourself, and you are part of the world. Do you really want to live the rest of your life mourning something that you have not lost?
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