We cannot change the choices our parents make. We can only love them for what they teach us.
I am getting married in two months, and that is about the only thing that I am not stressing about at the moment.
I have a dreadful job where I am getting bullied to the point where I have already had to take sick leave. I am facing redundancy – I am not sure when, but I have already heard on the grapevine that I am on the list. If I hang in there I will get a redundancy package but then I will be unemployed at the time when I need money for the wedding. If I sue the company for bullying, I will probably win the case but the company won’t pay damages – they have done the same with two other people in the last two years.
My best friend is not supportive at all, and at the moment blames me for stuff in her life that has nothing to do with me. This is adding to my stress to the point where I just want to walk away from our friendship.
I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.
My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles. My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress. He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him.
My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress. I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time. I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems. When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.
My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed. I think they have also already tried crystal meth. I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?
I don’t want you to think I am judging them. I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life. Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.
Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family. Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.
Can you help me?
My mother won’t let go of me and it is driving me crazy.
I am 21 years old and was not even allowed to arrange a birthday party for myself – not that it would have been a big party, because I only have one friend. My younger brother has already left home to study, but my mother refused me that opportunity. Instead she expects me to stay home and do all the cooking and cleaning. My mom seems to be afraid of so many things and wants me to take care of her all the time.
I recently got a job, and my mother makes a scene every time I leave for work, but I refuse to give up the job. At the same time she expects me to use my money to pay the household bills, even though she has her own well-paid job.
I have decided to leave home and move into a small flat. I don’t know how to tell my mother this without having a confrontation, because I don’t know how she will treat my younger sister when I leave home. I love my mother, but Iwant to have my own life and make my own rules. I want to go out with friends and study and travel.
How do I get away from all this?
I am a young mother of a baby under two years. I have a full-time job as well.
At home I have to prepare supper, and breakfast and lunch every evening for the next day. I also have to prepare my baby’s food. I have all the washing and cleaning to do as well.
At work I am overloaded because a colleague went on medical leave and I have to do her job as well as my own.
My husband expects a clean house but does not help me, even with the baby. I have talked to him about giving up my job, but he does not want me to. He just says I am not the first woman who is going through this phase and I must cope.
In the past few weeks I have had the most unbearable backache, and I am falling behind with everything. What can I do to get back on top of things again?
Some people thrive on stressing about everything. Rather than reassure them, tell them you respect their choice to stress but there are other choices available.
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