I’ve just started a new relationship, and rather than feeling happy, I am noticing a recurring pattern.
I was in a lovely relationship a few years ago, but then decided to move away to another city. I became so unhappy that I eventually moved back to be with the girl – only to realize that it was the worst thing I could have done. I had anxiety attacks and my health suffered. I could not bear spending time with this girl, and a few months later broke up with her.
Since then I have had a few short-lived relationships, but nothing serious. I then met a girl who was not interested, because she had been burnt before. It took me ages of pursuing her before she was convinced that we could be happy. This was hell for me – if she did not respond to a text immediately, I felt abandoned and desperate with worry. We finally settled down in a happy relationship, until recently when I read an innocent text from her and got a vision of spending my life with her – and it terrified me.
This girl is now very happy in the relationship, and I don’t know how to tell her how I feel. In my heart I probably know she is not the one for me, but I don’t want to hurt her. I also don’t want to leave her and discover again that I have made a big mistake.
Is it possible that I for some reason go after girls that I can’t have, so that