My mother won’t let go of me and it is driving me crazy.
I am 21 years old and was not even allowed to arrange a birthday party for myself – not that it would have been a big party, because I only have one friend. My younger brother has already left home to study, but my mother refused me that opportunity. Instead she expects me to stay home and do all the cooking and cleaning. My mom seems to be afraid of so many things and wants me to take care of her all the time.
I recently got a job, and my mother makes a scene every time I leave for work, but I refuse to give up the job. At the same time she expects me to use my money to pay the household bills, even though she has her own well-paid job.
I have decided to leave home and move into a small flat. I don’t know how to tell my mother this without having a confrontation, because I don’t know how she will treat my younger sister when I leave home. I love my mother, but Iwant to have my own life and make my own rules. I want to go out with friends and study and travel.
How do I get away from all this?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years now. Our relationship was the best ever because we can talk about anything – even the stuff we have different views on. He loves to surprise me with little gifts and I always feel better after telling him when something bothers me.
About three months ago things changed for him at work, and I can see he is really stressed out. He does not talk to me about work, and he has gained weight. We don’t have sex anymore because he does not feel comfortable being with me while he is so stressed. He has also developed a temper and I can see that this bothers him as well.
He assures me he is still totally committed to me, but I feel I am losing him. What can I do to help him?
Step 1: Breathe deeply and relax. Count your blessings.
Step 2: Do not take it personally, but take it very personally.
Step 3: Celebrate the next cycle of your life
I can hear you saying "There are bills to be paid. There is an ego that needs massaging. How will I cope until I can find another job during a time of recession? And she says I should relax and celebrate?"
Yes, I am serious about my advice, which comes from first-hand experience.