When things get really stressful, it is time to first look after yourself.
Over the last four weeks I have had some major things to deal with. My god-daughter was born and had to go straight into NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit). Then my sister’s baby was born and also had to go straight into NICU. I got a severe allergic reaction – I still don’t know the cause. Just after that I discovered that my mom has got skin cancer. And yesterday I had another severe allergic reaction and now I need to have tests done.
I have never coped well with stress, and this is just too much for me. As a result my home looks like a disaster area. My grocery shopping is behind. I have missed days at work, and I really care about my job. I have not exercised in weeks – and I love my exercise. I have started to snap at people for the simplest reasons.
What can I do to reduce my stress, or just to relax?
Don't stress about what has not happened yet because if you do, you create your nightmare.
There is a potential lawsuit against me.
While I am waiting for the decision, I am unable to sleep and eat properly, and I just want to stay in bed most of the time.
What can I do to feel better?
If you care about yourself other people will also care about you.
I have been diagnosed with social phobia and anxiety by a psychologist who was not able to help me overcome these issues. However, I have decided not to let that put me off.
There was an incident at work with a female colleague who had bullied me for quite a while. One day she just went too far and I threatened to beat her up. Of course I will never lift my hand to a woman, and did not mean it. Unfortunately the woman is related to the manager, who took her side and I lost my job.
I have since had chance meetings with some ex-colleagues who looked at me in a funny way, as if they want to laugh at me but not to my face. At first I thought it was my imagination, but then it happened again and again. This made me believe that they are gossiping about me whenever they can.
I am wondering whether it is possible for gossip to destroy a person’s life. Do you think I should be concerned about what these people say about me behind my back? I know that I live in a large city and I no longer work for this company, but it still bothers me that these people are talking about me and I don’t have an opportunity to defend myself.
My mother won’t let go of me and it is driving me crazy.
I am 21 years old and was not even allowed to arrange a birthday party for myself – not that it would have been a big party, because I only have one friend. My younger brother has already left home to study, but my mother refused me that opportunity. Instead she expects me to stay home and do all the cooking and cleaning. My mom seems to be afraid of so many things and wants me to take care of her all the time.
I recently got a job, and my mother makes a scene every time I leave for work, but I refuse to give up the job. At the same time she expects me to use my money to pay the household bills, even though she has her own well-paid job.
I have decided to leave home and move into a small flat. I don’t know how to tell my mother this without having a confrontation, because I don’t know how she will treat my younger sister when I leave home. I love my mother, but Iwant to have my own life and make my own rules. I want to go out with friends and study and travel.
How do I get away from all this?
Some people thrive on stressing about everything. Rather than reassure them, tell them you respect their choice to stress but there are other choices available.
To read more about dealing with relationship issues: