If a friend does not respect your boundaries, they are not a friend.
I am 19 and have gone through a number of changes recently. Within a year I graduated from high school, got my first home and got married.
A few months ago my husband’s best friend moved in with us – only for a few weeks, but then the weeks turned into months. Initially it worked out fine, but now things are getting totally out of hand.
We have a big TV in our house. Recently this man decided to buy a projector, put it in the middle of the lounge floor, and put up a white sheet in the middle of my house. He did not ask for permission, and when I asked him to take the stuff out of the way, he just ignored me.
He also bought an additional TV so that he and my husband could play games together, each using their own TV. I just got ignored in all of this, as if I don’t exist.
My husband works day shifts and his friend works nights. This friend decides when the air conditioning should be switched on during the day, and he takes control of the TV all day because he does not like my choice of shows.
Before this man moved in with us, we coped financially, but now we often overspend because just the food he eats cost more than the minimal rent he pays.
Our bills for internet use, phone and electricity have gone up. He claims that he cannot pay more rent, but he spends cash on computer games, brand-new state-of-the-art TV sets and other gadgets that are taking over my house.
I like to keep things neat and tidy, but it is impossible with this man making a mess all day and never cleaning up after himself.
My husband and I have started to argue about things that we in the past had no problems with.
Is it wrong to feel the way I do?
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I live on my own and have many lovely and caring friends, but even so I often find myself feeling lonely and tearful.
I have problems sleeping and often lie awake thinking very dark and scary thoughts.
Sports have always helped me to cope, but I am struggling with recent injuries that are taking long to heal.
I have also lost my job on two occasions and because things are so quiet at work at the moment, I am worried that it will happen again.
I would like to get married one day and be happy. I am not in a relationship at the moment.
I have recently noticed many people around me who are all having affairs. I am concerned that when I ever get married, my wife or I will have an affair, and that will break my heart.
I expect my wife to be faithful to me, and I will definitely be faithful to her. Am I unreasonable?
I met this incredible girl when I was in college, and I really care deeply about her. It is a second relationship for both of us. Her first relationship was long-distance. He started cheating on her after a few months, and she had no idea about it. She even went to visit him and as far as she was concerned they were very happy. He then dumped her just after her birthday.
I knew her at the time but our relationship only started a while after hers ended. We were very happy initially, but then I finished my studies. Because of finances I had to move back home, and this means I am only able to visit her every two months. I am now saving money so that we can move in together soon. We do communicate regularly with IM, video and phone, but it is not the same. I feel I am losing out because I cannot see her face or hear her voice, and that causes misunderstandings that turn out to be quite hurtful for both of us.
She still has her studies and she works two jobs to earn some money. She comes home late at night when her family is already asleep, and she has nobody to talk to.
I am very concerned that she is more and more depressed, and on top of that she is turning into a nasty piece of work - even her friends complain about her behavior.
I really want to help and support her as much as I can, but I feel like I am walking on eggs every time I speak to her. In this way her stress is getting to me. She is now playing this game where she is blaming me for not knowing what is wrong with her, and also not telling me anything – she shuts me out and I feel she is destroying all the closeness we had.
I am a medical doctor. I report to another doctor who completed his studies a year before I completed mine. While we were studying, he was allocated to be my mentor during his final year. He criticized me a lot (and still does), but it helps me to improve and I didn’t mind.
Since I have finished my studies I have been working with him on the same team in the hospital and we often put in long hours together. He once said in a social conversation with colleagues that he has not found a female doctor who is his type, and that he would rather not date another doctor. I know he is involved with an architect.
My problem is that I have feelings for him, and I find it more and more difficult to hide my feelings when I work with him. How can I control my feelings when I am in his presence?