My girlfriend stresses all the time about her finances and her grades at university. She is very intelligent – and this shows in the grades she gets. She is also good with money and as a result financially secure with her income.
However, no matter what I do, she disagrees. I have quoted her grades to her, and I have worked out her budget to prove her financial situation to her, but all she said was that I am trying to prove her stupid.
How do I get her to stop stressing over nothing?
I met this incredible girl when I was in college, and I really care deeply about her. It is a second relationship for both of us. Her first relationship was long-distance. He started cheating on her after a few months, and she had no idea about it. She even went to visit him and as far as she was concerned they were very happy. He then dumped her just after her birthday.
I knew her at the time but our relationship only started a while after hers ended. We were very happy initially, but then I finished my studies. Because of finances I had to move back home, and this means I am only able to visit her every two months. I am now saving money so that we can move in together soon. We do communicate regularly with IM, video and phone, but it is not the same. I feel I am losing out because I cannot see her face or hear her voice, and that causes misunderstandings that turn out to be quite hurtful for both of us.
She still has her studies and she works two jobs to earn some money. She comes home late at night when her family is already asleep, and she has nobody to talk to.
I am very concerned that she is more and more depressed, and on top of that she is turning into a nasty piece of work - even her friends complain about her behavior.
I really want to help and support her as much as I can, but I feel like I am walking on eggs every time I speak to her. In this way her stress is getting to me. She is now playing this game where she is blaming me for not knowing what is wrong with her, and also not telling me anything – she shuts me out and I feel she is destroying all the closeness we had.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years now. Our relationship was the best ever because we can talk about anything – even the stuff we have different views on. He loves to surprise me with little gifts and I always feel better after telling him when something bothers me.
About three months ago things changed for him at work, and I can see he is really stressed out. He does not talk to me about work, and he has gained weight. We don’t have sex anymore because he does not feel comfortable being with me while he is so stressed. He has also developed a temper and I can see that this bothers him as well.
He assures me he is still totally committed to me, but I feel I am losing him. What can I do to help him?
Step 1: Breathe deeply and relax. Count your blessings.
Step 2: Do not take it personally, but take it very personally.
Step 3: Celebrate the next cycle of your life
I can hear you saying "There are bills to be paid. There is an ego that needs massaging. How will I cope until I can find another job during a time of recession? And she says I should relax and celebrate?"
Yes, I am serious about my advice, which comes from first-hand experience.