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We cannot change the choices our parents make.  We can only love them for what they teach us.

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Published in Love and Relationships
Sunday, 21 June 2015 11:23

How Do I Break Away From My Parents?

Question:

I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.

My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles.  My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress.  He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him. 

My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress.  I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time.  I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems.  When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.

My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed.  I think they have also already tried crystal meth.  I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?

I don’t want you to think I am judging them.  I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life.  Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.

Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family.  Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.

Can you help me?

Published in Love and Relationships
Saturday, 28 February 2015 15:06

Smoking And A Young Husband - Podcast

Face your fears.  Hiding them behind a smokescreen is not a solution for anything.

To listen to the podcast click here.

To read more about dealing with relationship issues:

Click here if you are in the UK.

 Click here if you are outside the UK.

Published in Love and Relationships
Saturday, 28 February 2015 14:51

Smoking And A Young Husband

Question:

I'm supposed to get married in a few weeks and I'm so stressed out I don't know where to start.
I am struggling to give up smoking before the wedding.  My fiancé knows I am a smoker and he does not smoke, but thinks it is very romantic for me to smoke.  I desperately want to give up smoking because I don’t want him to start and I don’t want to be seen as a bad influence on him.  I have tried everything to give up, and it has left me angry instead of happy.

My fiancé is 24 and I'm 48.  We met over a year ago on a Christian dating site.  I wasn't looking for a younger man but he was looking for an older woman and we just connected from the beginning.  I did not even want to sign up for the dating website but some friends talked me into it.  My husband died in an accident over ten years ago.  I thought that I would never get a chance at such happiness again, but this is working so well.

My fiancé has been saving himself for marriage.  Our Christian faith is important to both of us.  I've only had sex with my late husband and never again after he passed.  I am concerned that our first experience will not meet with his expectations, and if it does, what about the second time?

Published in Love and Relationships

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