I am normally a healthy male in my early twenties. I exercise regularly and use breathing techniques to reduce my stress.
I have some issues to deal with, including unrequited feelings for a girl at work.
At night I clench my jaws and grind my teeth. I also get very painful knots in my muscles and I get rashes and dark spots on my skin. I also have social anxiety.
What else can I do to alleviate my stress?
We cannot change the choices our parents make. We can only love them for what they teach us.
I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.
My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles. My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress. He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him.
My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress. I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time. I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems. When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.
My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed. I think they have also already tried crystal meth. I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?
I don’t want you to think I am judging them. I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life. Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.
Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family. Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.
Can you help me?
I am a young mother of a baby under two years. I have a full-time job as well.
At home I have to prepare supper, and breakfast and lunch every evening for the next day. I also have to prepare my baby’s food. I have all the washing and cleaning to do as well.
At work I am overloaded because a colleague went on medical leave and I have to do her job as well as my own.
My husband expects a clean house but does not help me, even with the baby. I have talked to him about giving up my job, but he does not want me to. He just says I am not the first woman who is going through this phase and I must cope.
In the past few weeks I have had the most unbearable backache, and I am falling behind with everything. What can I do to get back on top of things again?
Some people thrive on stressing about everything. Rather than reassure them, tell them you respect their choice to stress but there are other choices available.
To read more about dealing with relationship issues:
My girlfriend stresses all the time about her finances and her grades at university. She is very intelligent – and this shows in the grades she gets. She is also good with money and as a result financially secure with her income.
However, no matter what I do, she disagrees. I have quoted her grades to her, and I have worked out her budget to prove her financial situation to her, but all she said was that I am trying to prove her stupid.
How do I get her to stop stressing over nothing?
I met this incredible girl when I was in college, and I really care deeply about her. It is a second relationship for both of us. Her first relationship was long-distance. He started cheating on her after a few months, and she had no idea about it. She even went to visit him and as far as she was concerned they were very happy. He then dumped her just after her birthday.
I knew her at the time but our relationship only started a while after hers ended. We were very happy initially, but then I finished my studies. Because of finances I had to move back home, and this means I am only able to visit her every two months. I am now saving money so that we can move in together soon. We do communicate regularly with IM, video and phone, but it is not the same. I feel I am losing out because I cannot see her face or hear her voice, and that causes misunderstandings that turn out to be quite hurtful for both of us.
She still has her studies and she works two jobs to earn some money. She comes home late at night when her family is already asleep, and she has nobody to talk to.
I am very concerned that she is more and more depressed, and on top of that she is turning into a nasty piece of work - even her friends complain about her behavior.
I really want to help and support her as much as I can, but I feel like I am walking on eggs every time I speak to her. In this way her stress is getting to me. She is now playing this game where she is blaming me for not knowing what is wrong with her, and also not telling me anything – she shuts me out and I feel she is destroying all the closeness we had.