I had a good life when I lived with my parents. Everything was simple and I was happy.
Then I moved into my own place and had my first real adult relationship. Now I have a landlord, a job, rent, money, and lack of sleep to deal with all the time.
I feel tired all the time. I am bored at work and come home to deal with all sorts of tiny issues that just pile up.
Why can’t life be as easy as it was in the old days? There must be a way to get some of that back?
When things get really stressful, it is time to first look after yourself.
Over the last four weeks I have had some major things to deal with. My god-daughter was born and had to go straight into NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit). Then my sister’s baby was born and also had to go straight into NICU. I got a severe allergic reaction – I still don’t know the cause. Just after that I discovered that my mom has got skin cancer. And yesterday I had another severe allergic reaction and now I need to have tests done.
I have never coped well with stress, and this is just too much for me. As a result my home looks like a disaster area. My grocery shopping is behind. I have missed days at work, and I really care about my job. I have not exercised in weeks – and I love my exercise. I have started to snap at people for the simplest reasons.
What can I do to reduce my stress, or just to relax?
Don't stress about what has not happened yet because if you do, you create your nightmare.
There is a potential lawsuit against me.
While I am waiting for the decision, I am unable to sleep and eat properly, and I just want to stay in bed most of the time.
What can I do to feel better?
We cannot change the choices our parents make. We can only love them for what they teach us.
I have recently turned 20 and moved out of my parents’ home because I could not stand staying there any longer.
My parents are always fighting about money, but I can see how they cause their own money troubles. My dad has been unemployed for a long time and he smokes weed to relieve his stress. He can come up with the craziest things, and then gets frustrated and embarrassed, which makes it very difficult to speak to him.
My mom has a job that she hates, and she drinks two bottles of wine every night to deal with her stress. I work as a waiter and I have seen people sharing a bottle of wine and having a good time. I can see my mother does not have a good time – she drinks because she does not want to face her problems. When I try to talk to her, she says it is her money and she will do as she pleases.
My sisters dose themselves with prescription drugs and drink and smoke weed. I think they have also already tried crystal meth. I have tried to talk to them but they say if our parents can do it, why can’t they?
I don’t want you to think I am judging them. I have experimented with drugs and weed, but one day I had an experience where I felt God was reaching out to me and I just knew this was not what I wanted in my life. Now I will only take medication if the doctor prescribed it and there is no other way.
Even though I no longer live at home, I am really stressed about my family. Despite everything I love them and I know I can’t change them, but I want the best for them.
Can you help me?
I am a young mother of a baby under two years. I have a full-time job as well.
At home I have to prepare supper, and breakfast and lunch every evening for the next day. I also have to prepare my baby’s food. I have all the washing and cleaning to do as well.
At work I am overloaded because a colleague went on medical leave and I have to do her job as well as my own.
My husband expects a clean house but does not help me, even with the baby. I have talked to him about giving up my job, but he does not want me to. He just says I am not the first woman who is going through this phase and I must cope.
In the past few weeks I have had the most unbearable backache, and I am falling behind with everything. What can I do to get back on top of things again?
Some people thrive on stressing about everything. Rather than reassure them, tell them you respect their choice to stress but there are other choices available.
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